For Good Fortune
by The Desert Stallion
Summary: Anakin's beginnings, from his point of view.
1. Only the Beginning of the Adventure

For Good Fortune

I let out a joyful squeal and rushed out of the kitchen to get to my room, when suddenly, an unbidden thought entered my small, shaggy head. My feet stuck fast to the floor, my hand slid over the familiar doorframe, and I slowly turned around, an innocent, quizzical expression on my face. The Jedi, Qui-Gon, was studying me with regret, almost as if he knew what I planned to ask. Maybe he did; Jedi have amazing powers. The soft brown eyes already held the answer, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it. Not Mom, I thought, my own blue eyes pleading with the two still figures.

"What about Mom?" It was a perfectly reasonable question from my point of view. The thought of life without her couldn't be conceived. I gave her an apprehensive look and shifted my gaze to the Jedi. He folded his hands in his robe and sighed deeply. "Is she free too?" **_How stupid of me. I only thought she might. _**But his body language screamed otherwise. He wouldn't look me exactly in the eyes, gazed over the top of my head. I didn't want him to say it, but kept myself very still, very composed.

"I tried to free your mother, Ani, but Watto wouldn't have it," he tried to break it to me gently; I wouldn't have it. Instead, I turned to the one solid truth in my wavering world, her. I marched back to her chair, thinking that she would set this right. "You're coming with us, aren't you, Mom?" Every fiber in my little body screamed for her to say yes, ached for the reassuring words.

I saw her glance at him and for a long minute, she didn't answer. That silence crushed every last foolish hope I had; my head drooped to my chest; tears threatened to drop down my face. No matter what though, I wouldn't cry. I wasn't a sissy.

"Son," her voice held nothing but disappointment. Then and there, I almost decided being a sissy wasn't so bad. She was trying to sound cheerful, but it wasn't working. "My place is here. My future is here. It is time for you to let go." Let go? No way! I could never let go of her. She was the center of my life, my very existence. I loved her so much it sometimes hurt. So I stubbornly resisted.

"I don't want things to change." I'd heard somewhere that if you wanted something bad enough, you could get it. For sure, I wanted this wholeheartedly.

"But you can't stop the change…" she ever-so-gently contradicted me. "Anymore than you can stop the suns from setting." She put a hand to my cheek. It wasn't a soft hand, but the rough, calloused hand of a slave. I loved that touch. It reminded me of how much she loved me, what she did to provide for me. It also made me angry. She didn't deserve to be a slave while I went free.

"Oh, I love you," she pulled me forward into a fierce mama-sandbear hug. Then she pulled back and playfully swatted me. "Now hurry." I gave her a last, intense look, hoping that she would change her mind and things could stay the same, but she didn't. So I trotted back the way I'd come, through the kitchen doorway.

For all his amazing powers, Qui-Gon took no notice when I paused out of sight to listen in. I heard my mother stand and move across the tiny room. Qui-Gon took no notice when I paused out of sight to listen in. I heard my mother stand and move across the tiny room. To her soft, "Thank you," he replied, "I'll watch after him. You have my word," his deep voice reverberated out into the hallway. I stiffened up indignantly. I didn't need any looking after. After all, who had won the pod race? "Will you be all right?" his robes rustled as he shifted his position.

"Yes," my mother answered softly. I slipped down the short hall to my room, less excited than before. Was I really going to be leaving her? I hurried into my room, grabbed up my backpack, and flung it on the bed. Activating 3PO as I flew by, I was greeted with his prim and proper voice. He seemed a bit confused at first, twitching his head from side to side.

"Oh my, Hello, Master Anakin," he shakily pushed himself off his shelf to offer his services, but I interrupted him quickly.

"Well, 3PO, I've been freed…" The word sounded so strange when I applied it to myself. What would freedom be like? No one to boss me around-to rule and order every aspect of my life-it certainly sounded like a dream come true. And to be a Jedi-that was almost impossible to grasp. "…and I'm going away in a starship."

"Oh dear," the droid couldn't hide his disappointment. R2 had pointed out some missing parts, parts essential to the fashion of any protocol droid. He had been acutely aware of himself ever since. "Master Anakin, you are my maker and I wish you well; however, I should prefer it if I were a little more, completed."

I chuckled as I stuffed my last shirt into the bag. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to finish you, 3PO, give you coverings and all. I'm gonna miss working on you." I scoured the dresser and spotted the small charm I had carved right before the race. I swept the amulet into my small hand, threw my pack over my shoulder, and looked up at the droid. "You've been a great pal. I'll make sure Mom doesn't sell you or anything."

"Sell me?"3PO was decidedly nervous.

"Bye." I had to get out of there, or else I **would **cry. Never cry in front of a protocol droid, especially when you don't have the equipment to wipe their memories. I left the room to find Qui-Gon and my mother where I had left them. As young and naïve as I was, I could sense the gravity of the situation, of my choice, and it frightened me. The three of us walked very slowly outside, into the stagnating heat of my homeworld, Tatooine. None of us talked.

It seemed to me like a spell so strong there was no way to break it. My dream come true, and my ultimate nightmare, rolled into my reality. The Jedi stepped away from the little doorframe, hands still tucked in his floppy sleeves. In a way, I envied the power, the self-assurance and calm that oozed from his presence. It bugged me too, how he could just walk away from so many things in life, never looking back, never feeling. Surely, not all Jedi were like that.

I wouldn't be like that, never. I could feel his certainty waver as though he had heard my silent vow; he turned to see that I had stopped. I gazed back at my home. There she stood, struggling to hold back her own tears. Something broke the dam of emotions in my heart, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms, crying. "I can't do it, Mom." I heard myself sniffling into her shoulder. "I just can't do it." Very gently, she put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. "Will I ever see you again?"

She smiled faintly. "What does your heart tell you?"

I didn't know. That's what scared me so badly. "I hope so. Yes, I guess," I sighed.

She gave me a complete, though tremulous smile. "Then we will see each other again." **_Like it's as simple as that. _**Maybe I would. Maybe I could come back and rescue her, make her free too. **_I thought I could do anything back then. _**

"I will come back and free you, Mom," I finally whispered. "I promise." She softly laughed. I wanted to believe that it held hope for a better future.

"Now be brave… and don't look back," she gave her head a firm shake. "Don't look back." She stood and turned me around, lovingly nudged me away. I stumbled after the Jedi. He never looked back, but I did. As we curved around a speeder, I glanced back just before I lost my view. She was standing like a statue in the blowing sand. But statues didn't cry, and I distinctly saw a teardrop sliding down the bronze cheek.

I clutched that amulet. If ever I needed good fortune, it was now.

000000000000000000000

I sat huddled against the wall of the spaceship, shivering in the cold atmosphere. The tears were long gone, replaced by a deadened feeling that left me colder than ever. The little charm passed back and forth from hand to hand. A few feet away, the strange creature Jar Jar, lay draped over the table. He was snoring.

I rolled the charm over and over. So much had happened that I didn't understand. First, a black creature had attempted to kill Qui-Gon. He had failed, and Qui-Gon introduced me to another Jedi, Obi-wan Kenobi. I found out that he was a Padawan, a learner, like I would soon be. I also had the feeling that he didn't like me. I overheard some remark about "another pathetic life form," but Qui-Gon hushed him up fast. Now, we were on our way to a city planet called Coruscant.

The elevator doors hissed open, and one of the queen's handmaidens glided in. She strode purposefully up to the transmissions center and fiddled with the recordings. The fuzzy blue hologram of a strange man began talking to her. "The death toll is catastrophic. We must bow to their wishes. You **must **contact me." He faded out of existence. She suddenly appeared uncertain, no longer tall and straight, but bent with fear. She slowly turned around, and I stopped playing with the amulet. It was Padme. The angel. **_My angel._**

"Are you all right?" her heavenly voice was soft but clear. I could see her concern for me, and it warmed me some. Not enough though.

"It's very cold." **_M'lady._**

She took her overcoat and came over, circling the sleeping alien. "You come from a warm planet, Ani," she knelt down, tucked the red cloth around me. "A little too warm for my taste. Space is cold." **_Like everything else. _**I stared up into her face.

"You seem sad."

"The queen is worried." **_She was worried. _**The angel smiled sadly. It was my turn to be concerned. Angels should never be sad. "Her people are suffering, dying." **_But I would never let her suffer._** "She must convince the senate to intervene, or…" I listened with rapt attention, staring into the liquid brown eyes. "I'm not sure what'll happen."

There was a long pause, then I remembered the charm in my hand. I pulled it out from under the blanket and held it in front of her. She obviously needed it more than I did. "I made this for you… so you'd remember me." She turned it over curiously. "I carved it out of a japor snippet. It'll bring you good fortune."

"It's beautiful," she finally looked up. "But I don't need this to remember you by." I shrugged. "Many things will change when we reach the capital, Ani, but my caring for you will remain."

000000000000000000000

**_So here I am, still looking back. _**He cared for her too, even loved her, right up to the end. He wondered distantly if her caring had stayed even after he turned on her. **_After I killed her. _**He sat in his special chamber. Dwarfed by his huge hands, the charm gleamed up at him. It had brought her nothing but bad fortune. He had brought her pain and suffering and death. As almost a taunt, his master had given him the amulet a month after her funeral. **_I thought angels never died. But I was wrong about everything. And now it's too late. She's gone forever, because of me. _**The memories were becoming too painful. **_How did I repay her love? With anger. _**Like water and fire, moon and sun, life and death. Now only the raging fire was left, having consumed the gentler water. And thinking about it only fueled the flames. He forced his mind away. But no matter how hard he tried, he would always remember her.

**Author's notes**:** Tell me if you like it. I'm thinking of continuing it through the movies, but only if I get some good feedback. Is it good, bad? Are there grammatical mistakes? Are the characters' thoughts, in character? Do I continue?**


	2. Of Fear and Being Uncertain

**He kept returning to the amulet, kept lifting it from its velvet cushion and staring at its embossed surface. His mind could not be forced from thoughts of his happier days, especially not since his battle with the boy. His innocent, pure son reminded him so much of her. Both had and were growing up in troublesome times, yet they both kept their lives free of the mire. A very small part of him was pleased with the boy's resistance. Perhaps there was not so much of himself there as he thought. The boy took after her in spirit and character. He was fighting a losing battle with evil though, just as she did so many years before. His mind flickered back over a time in the past, when the galaxy's woes were just beginning…When there was no such thing as luck… **

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My eyes must have been the size of dinner plates when the Nubian ship lowered gracefully into Coruscant's atmosphere. As far as I could see, huge buildings poked their massive noses up all over the planet's surface, in every color, shape, and size. I grinned. They looked like the quills of a porcurat, an animal I once saw in a library book. Everywhere, going every direction, were the streams and rivers of traffic. Almost no car was the same as they dipped, dashed, roared, and whined thousands of feet above the surface. I had to force myself not to cry out when we slipped into a river of our own.

The ship's pilot, a kindly and patient man, turned and laughed at my expression. He'd seen the sight hundreds of times, but my first-time awe reopened his eyes to the splendor before him. The copilot also laughed, reached over and tousled my hair. I ducked and grinned at him.

"Coruscant," the pilot announced cheerfully. "The entire planet is one big city. Oh, there's Chancellor Valorum's shuttle." Because of my isolated background, the name was new to me. From the pilot's tone of voice, I gathered that he was a very significant man. Maybe he was like Jabba the Hutt. Did he rule Coruscant?

"And look over there. Senator Palpatine is waiting for us." Senator? Chancellor? Queen? Government was too complicated. I peered down at the platform that we now approached. A smaller shuttle was already parked beside it, and its passengers were slowly disembarking. Standing alone and already on the platform was a lone figure, dressed in expensive blacks and greens. Now that I thought about it, I had never seen so many well dressed people in one place.

Our ship settled majestically onto the platform, the engines slowly winding down. Both parties moved to greet one another. I walked meekly beside Jar Jar, just behind the long robes of the Jedi. Peculiar sights met my wondering eyes. Placing themselves at even intervals all around us, were tall silent men in blue uniforms. None of them spoke to us, but they stood there menacingly, long weapons hanging off their shoulders. I instinctively didn't trust them, although later I learned they were only the Chancellor's bodyguards. At the present, they were scary. Even though their eyes couldn't be seen behind the plumed helmets, I somehow knew they were watching us. **_Like hawks. _**

Qui-Gon and Obi-wan stopped so suddenly that I almost ran into their backs. I actually had to reach out and stop Jar Jar from doing so. The Chancellor and the Senator stood side by side. I couldn't tell them apart, not really. **_One was good and one was evil. And I was never able to tell the difference. _**The taller one inclined his head respectfully as the queen stepped into view, but remained silent. The shorter man smiled at the queen with an easy familiarity, like a father to his daughter.

"It is a great gift to see you alive, Your Majesty," he spoke silkily. "With the communications breakdown, we've been very concerned. I'm anxious to hear your report on the situation."

I moved up beside the queen to get a better look. Unlike my feelings for the guards, I immediately liked this man. His older face was very patient and grandfatherly. He appeared very trust-worthy. Qui-Gon guided me protectively over to stand in front of him, out of the way of the conversation. I glanced at Padme, standing just beyond the queen, and she smiled briefly.

"May I present, Supreme Chancellor Valorum," he stated solemnly. So then this must be Senator Palpatine from Naboo. He was from Padme's planet. No wonder he was nice.

Valorum stepped forward and bowed. He seemed too stiff and cold to be likable. In a voice devoid of emotion, he greeted us, "Welcome, Your Highness. It's an honor to finally meet you in person."

"Thank you, Supreme Chancellor," the queen replied in her stilted Nubian accent. She began to glide to the waiting shuttle. Palpatine and Valorum flanked her closely, while the rest of us followed.

"I must relay to you how distressed everyone is over the current situation. I've called for a special session of the Senate to hear your position," Valorum stopped again with the queen, tucked his hands behind his back.

"I'm grateful for your concern, Chancellor," she swiveled her head, the large black feathers on her headdress dancing. Then she turned and walked on, leaving Valorum to stare after her. Palpatine now had her complete attention.

"There is a question of procedure," he said pensively. "But I'm confident we can overcome it." And somehow, I felt absolutely certain that he could, and would.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After several hours of fruitlessly wandering the apartment complex with the Gungan, I was found by Qui-Gon. He and Obi-wan had been to see the Jedi council, and the news was promising. At least, he said it was, but I could sense disappointment. The council had deigned to see me, that was all. They had not promised yes or no. Qui-Gon told me to be grateful for that. As a rule, Jedi were trained from a very young age. I was already considered too old. **_Too set in my ways._** As it turned out, I had time to kill before my appointment with the masters, so I decided to go in search of Padme. I tiptoed through the lush red hallways and searched for Palpatine's apartment number. There it was-426. A Nubian guard stood just outside the door, a small blaster tucked under his arm. He smiled at me broadly and asked what I wanted.

"Hold on," he lifted his comlink and spoke into it. "Boy's here to see Padme."

The comlink crackled back, "Let him in." He gave me a short nod, opened the intimidating curved doors. They closed with a soft whoosh behind me as I stepped inside. I felt oddly out of place in such beautiful surroundings. A handmaiden approached. Padme?

"I'm sorry, Ani," she said. The voice was that of Jisiana, a different handmaiden, and certainly not Padme. "But Padme's not here right now." I dropped my head dejectedly, avoiding her sympathetic gaze. "I'm sorry," she offered in a tentative manner. Robes rustled in the next room over.

"Who is it?"

"Anakin Skywalker here to see Padme, Your Highness," Jisiana bowed reverently, and so did I.

"I've sent Padme on an errand," the queen came into view. She focused her royal gaze on my scruffy face, and suddenly I felt conspicuous.

"I'm on my way to the Jedi to start my training, I hope." Why did I hope so much lately? Why couldn't I just know for a change? **_Because the world is never certain, that's why. _**"I may never see her again, so I came to say goodbye." Boy, I was getting good at all this goodbye stuff, though I had no idea why I was telling the aloof queen about it.

"We will tell her for you," the queen never smiled. "We are sure her heart goes with you." Encouraging words to my ears. I hoped they were true. No, I knew they were true. I bowed once more.

"Thank you, Your Highness." The queen disappeared further into the apartment, very gracefully. Jisiana moved me to the door. Just before the door cut us off, she squeezed my shoulder and smiled.

"You'll see her again, Ani."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I stood in the center of a tile circle surrounded by the Jedi masters. The sun was setting and its bright rays were staring me in the face. I wished they had blinds put up. Every set of eyes was boring into me, and I was becoming distinctly uncomfortable. A tall, brown, and bald Jedi sat right in front of me; he was testing my reflexes with a small pad in his hands. There was a wariness in his expression that even I couldn't miss.

"A ship." My young, high-pitched voice echoed coldly in the quiet room. Their eyes seemed to be probing me, dissecting me. I shifted my position as a new image came up. "A cup." I didn't see the point of this game yet. Something serious was happening though. Back to the original image. "A ship." Ooo, a new one. "A speeder."

He gave me a long look and deactivated the pad, sending a barely perceptible nod to the Jedi seated on his right. It was a little, wrinkly green thing, with a tiny body and a large head. His gnarled three right claws gripped a worn wooden cane. His huge green ears moved up and down. "Hmm," he rumbled deep in his throat, placing a finger to his mouth. "How feel you?"

His strangely worded question made me hesitate. I swallowed loudly and with difficulty. "Cold, sir."_ Stop staring at me like that! It's weird! _

"Afraid, are you?" _And stop talking like that too! _I wanted to run, but I wouldn't let him frighten me.

"No sir." I was pleased at how confident I sounded. He seemed to look right past my strong façade, pointed a green claw at me.

"See through you, we can," He intoned gravely. The other Jedi all nodded. I wanted Mom to hide behind. They wouldn't be able to see through her.

"Be mindful of your feelings," the brown Jedi added, thoughtfully shaking his head.

"Your thoughts dwell on your mother," I jerked around to see another master joining the interrogation. He had an extra lump on his head as if he had two brains instead of one. Otherwise, he looked much like a bearded human. His voice was gentler than the others, and I softened towards him.

"I miss her," I told him with all honesty, noticed the green creature nodding along.

"Mmmm," he rumbled again, which got on my nerves so much. "Afraid to lose her, I think, mmm?"

I was starting to get irritated. My mother wasn't any of their business, nor the fact that I missed her. "What has that got to do with anything?"

His eyes widened at my evident stupidity. "Everything," he gasped. "Fear is the path to the dark side." At least he was speaking normally now. "Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; and hate leads to suffering." **_Everything led to the dark side, according to you. Cutting your fingernails might lead to the dark side. _**I stared at him defiantly, glanced at the brown Jedi. He too, did not seem pleased with what he saw. His scrutinizing gaze never turned away. I felt my own eyes narrowing.

The little creature sighed. "I sense much fear in you."

oooooooooooooooooooo

**And was that such a bad thing? Fear sometimes led one to act when he might never have moved. Fear of evil had led the worlds to fight it, for a time, until the Jedi stopped fearing. They became overconfident and were blindsided. His master had feared the Jedi, thus wiping them out and securing his place as Emperor. There was such a thing as healthy fear. A fear for the things needed to be feared, not a foolish ignorance of them. The Jedi didn't fear the end; they felt it would never come. And yet, as he systematically ended them one by one with his lightsaber, he had finally sensed their fear, all-consuming fear, fear that came too late. **

**He stepped past the menacing red-robed guards of the Emperor. That was one thing he no longer needed to fear. They were weak compared to him. Most everyone in the galaxy was. The only man he feared now was his master. _And that fear will someday drive me to act. _He knew his master feared him as well, was waiting for the titan clash of wills. But Vader could wait; he had learned patience at last. **

**As he moved to talk with his master, he wouldn't admit that he feared one other. A mere boy, but the son of her. What he feared was the fact that he could see himself in Luke. _Will that fear drive me to act, in a different way?_**


End file.
